These are a few of my “favourite” things….

They are some of the most dreaded moments for me as an English ALT; the ones where, often with absolutely no warning, I am asked a question relating to popular culture either back home, or in Japan.  Both students and teachers alike have a natural curiosity about me, about my country’s culture (whether or not they can point to it on a map), and about my take on Japanese culture.  Questions as to who my favourite musician, actor or footballer might be have caused me to contort my face, roll my eyes toward the ceiling, and release than involuntary “Uhh…..” sound in search of inspiration more times than I could keep count.

How would I know the answer to such questions; I’m not 14 years old.  I’m well past the age where I would define myself by my favourite band, my taste in music, popular culture or hobbies.  Not that I ever did define myself as such.  My worst nightmare is being stuck in a conversation with someone at a party, or in the pub, with someone who does.  Actually, my worst nightmare is being handcuffed to a radiator, having someone tape headphones to my ears that play the tune from the Go Compare adverts on endless loop, whilst being fed only melon until my taste buds are scientifically proven to have detected the taste of said oversized fruit.  Honestly, why does melon exist?  It’s not like they have any secondary uses either, is it?  I mean, the appendix is pretty damn useless too these days, but at least it also has the decency to appear at the end of books, to explain the less salient asides of the main text.  Did you ever see a melon provide background information or further reading in published work?  Exactly.

The Beatles - my "favourite" band

Leaving extreme fruit-based prejudices behind for a while, how do you answer these questions, shot from nowhere?  Well, I started, naturally enough I suppose, with the truth, or something like it.  Favourite band?  My face contorted, and with a glance at the ceiling……

“Uhhh………”

“Kings of Leon”, came my answer, following a desperate search into a part of my brain that was racked against it’s will and expectation.  Not necessarily the truth, but close to it – at a certain point in history – before they released two albums of commercial tripe and started to appear on my mum’s facebook page as one of her “likes”.  I think my hurried brain had returned an answer that I thought might have been a credible and familiar answer where none had been rehearsed.  My brain had gotten it all wrong, as the blank stares and confused mumblings confirmed.

Tempura - my "favourite" food

For my second attempt at the same question I decided to answer more like I might if someone asked me in a more casual but no less awkward situation, such as a first date, of which I’ve had plenty practice.  In hindsight, explaining in as simple terms as possible that I like a broad range of stuff but that Soul and Reggae were my favourite types of music, along with the one man genre himself, Beck, was never going to do any better for an audience of 12 -15 year olds who don’t comprehend English particularly well.  Henceforth, I rehearsed my answer.  The Beatles.  An outright lie, but at least everyone in Japan has heard of them for one thing, and likes them for another, as the now familiar shouts of approval show.

And so it was that my previously undefined list of “favourite things” started to take shape.  If a man in his early 30s can be defined by these choices, then let the judging commence – my favourite band is The Beatles, my favourite footballer is Andres Iniesta, my favourite food is tempura (more roars of approval from the Japanese students on that one; I sometimes feel like a band frontman making contrived crowd pleasing references to local landmarks when on tour), and my favourite actor is Harrison Ford (come on now, who else would it be?).

One Piece - the most popular anime series of them all

Unfortunately though, knowledge of western popular culture won’t cut it for long.  The Japanese have a rich popular culture of their own, as any Japanophile will know, including hugely popular anime exports like Pokemon, One Piece and Dragonball Z, and the love it or hate it J-pop industry.  Show no knowledge of these, and the students are not impressed.  Cheap trick though it may be, expressing some interest in this stuff gets you mileage with easily bored 11 year olds.  But, like a badly clichéd sitcom plot where a small lie about knowledge, skills or personal circumstance leads to the main protagonist working harder to save face than he or she bargained for, I soon found myself watching half a dozen episodes of tiresome cartoons so I could at least name some characters.  On the upside, feigning interest in AKB48 makes for somewhat more interesting research.

AKB48, for those who think I’m talking about postal codes, are the current queens of J-pop.  Their name is taken from an abbreviation of Akihabara in Tokyo, together with – believe it or believe it not – the number of group members.  Their inception, marketing and ethos makes anything Simon Cowell ever did look like an amateur.  With over 11 million CD single sales alone (yes actual CDs, remember them?!), a merchandising machine worth hundreds of millions of dollars per year, their own superstore and their own theatre in Akihabara, where they perform in one incarnation or another every day, they are a window straight into the idol culture of Japan.

AKB48 - Finding the image I wanted took a surprisingly long time.

And so it was that when I first started to display an awareness to my students of this extensive arrangement of pretty Japanese nubiles, I was also forced to conduct entirely necessary research into all 48 of their names, vital statistics and photos.  Tough work, but someone has to do it.  After all, I wouldn’t want to have to find myself looking up at the ceiling, with a contorted face whilst making involuntary noises again now would I?

Ahem.

Disclaimer: No members of AKB48 were stalked in the making of this blog.